Fifth Post! Preparing for Marriage and trends

        Hello blog viewers and welcome to our fifth post to this series! For this discussion I wanted to talk about preparing for marriage and how it looks different for different groups. It seemingly looks different for everyone, but culture and generations change how we prepare for marriage.  

        I first think of the difference between western cultures and other cultures within the context of dating. I know in other cultures it would not be completely strange or wrong to suggest a price for a woman to marry. In our culture we would consider that inhumane and would very much consider that objectifying to women. I do find it so interesting that we fail to realize a lot of the time that we hold paradigms and perspectives from our culture and environment that make it hard for us to understand how things could be done any differently.  

        I secondly think of the difference between how different generations view and experience dating and “courtship.” Our parents' dating culture was quite different from people my age, and their parents were different from theirs. I remember my mom telling me stories about when she attended this school when it was called Rick’s College, and how she went on many, many dates. A lot were group dates, some were just her and the guy, but it was never serious commitment or physical touch in that specific stage of dating. The way she described it; dates were not always met with a romantic connotation. Sometimes, they were just more so friends spending time together, and other times it was just to get to know new people.  

        On the other side of the coin, I think of people many moons ago, (think Downton Abbey or Pride and Prejudice) who also took on “dating” very differently. I put that in quotes because they would not even use that terminology. Back then they may have used the word courtship to describe what we consider dating Which was very much not like how we know dating. Courtship was much less about any form of physical intimacy or touch than it is now. A trend I have seen among my generation and the one above, is that there is a rush to physical intimacy to almost test drive the person you might want to spend a prolonged period with. Sexual relations between partners are happening earlier and earlier in the stages of a relationship or lack thereof, and also younger and younger people are participating. I remember when I was in middle school, and I had found out about a fellow classmate that had participated in similar activities and I was shocked that people that were my age at thirteen or fourteen were having sex. This is also happening within non-committal situations where the two people are just basically using each other and viewing the other as a means to an end. There is extreme toxicity within the hook up culture.  

        I personally believe the best way to prepare for marriage when within the dating scene or within a relationship is to leave physical intimacy and touch as the last priority on your list and to not engage in sexual relations at all while dating, or at least not that soon. It is known that when you have sexual relations with someone, your brain will release oxytocin which is a bonding hormone. I say this because sexual relations are to be taken very seriously and I would recommend not considering until after marriage.