Seventh Post! Marital Intimacy and honesty

        Hey readers and welcome back to our discussion of marriage and family relationships! Today’s topic is a little more uncomfortable than others just because of some intimate subject matters. However, I do believe that these conversations not only are beneficial to discuss but are vital to those who are considering marriage with someone.  

       How did you first hear about sex? The age we hear about this can really depend, when we consider where someone is from and what culture they grew up in. I think the majority of us in the United States can say that they learned about the concept of sex at a relatively young age. For me, I think I learned about sex about the age of maybe 8 or 9. I had a neighborhood friend who was a year older than me and must have thought I needed to be under her wing with this subject matter. Luckily, it was not in an abrasive or crude way that I know a lot of others have experienced. I do believe that that experience of first learning what sex is can often be our first experience in skewing what the true meaning of sex is.  

       You see, sex is very good. Not just speaking about physical pleasure, but sex is great for couples. It is a great way of forming a very strong healthy bond with your spouse and allows you to grow closer with them. And within the covenant of marriage, sex can be a way to grow closer to your Heavenly Father as well. I think that’s the problem with how children are being taught what sex is. It takes out the purpose, really the sacredness that sex can be. The world will make you think that sex is just for pleasure and is solely a lustful activity. And the Adversary loves to twist things just enough to make you believe these things are not only true, but that even within the covenant of marriage that it is sinful.  

       You might also be surprised to hear that Elder Jeffery R. Holland, who was the President of Brigham Young University at the time, described sexual intimacy between a covenanted married couple as a sacrament. A sacrament being an event that unifies people bringing them unto God. This can sound rather odd at first, but when you consider what sexual intimacy is and what it’s purpose is you will realize it is not that strange and is actually rather profound. Sexual Intimacy in marriage truly is an opportunity to grow closer as eternal companions and ultimately bring you closer to your Father in Heaven.  

      Many people, or more generally young married women in our church will have a challenging time of participating in sexual relations after getting married because of the worldly connotations they hold about what sex is. This is called Good Girl/Good Boy Syndrome. This seemingly happens because you are told in the church not to have sex, not to have sex, not to have sex, and then you get married and it’s like “go for it, procreate!” But I truly believe if we were to teach children from the start that sex can be very good and healthy, WITHIN the COVENANT of MARRIAGE with your SPOUSE.  

      Work on today changing your view of sexual relations with your spouse. If you are already married, how are you or how can you make intimacy with your spouse more of a sacrament? If you are not a member, how can you reach a point where you can view sex as a holy and sacred activity? And are you willing to do so? And if you’re young and not married are waiting to have that form of intimacy only in marriage, how can you prepare right now to ensure that you are viewing sex the right way and are having the right conversations with your potential future spouses regarding this topic. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below! Have a great week! 

Chloe 

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