Tenth Post! Modern Family Finances

            Hello my smart and distinguished pals! As always, my name is Chloe Capener, marriage and family topic enthusiast and learner, and I am back to discuss another family topic with y’all! I would say today’s topic is very commonly experienced by everyone within a family, especially myself. And this is because according to a recent survey done by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, this topic is one of the three leading causes of Divorce as of 2013. The topic is finances. More specifically family finances and fatherhood. It is primarily expected in a traditional family for the father to be the primary or sole provider of the family’s finances. But with today’s climate and inflation, it is merely impossible for a family to live on one salary. Usually both parents now need to work for the family to be able to live above the poverty line, unless one spouse has a very well-paying job.  

            Years ago, it was much more attainable for a father to work and the mother to stay home and care for the children. I grew up this way. My father worked and was payed relatively well, and my mom stayed at home with us, the kids. Although my dad earned the money for our family, my mom had almost sole control over the finances regarding bills and tithing and grocery shopping, etc. I think with more communication this system is not bad, but it can be, and in my parents' case it did not work. It caused a lot of contention because my dad put all his trust in my mom to control the finances but would sometimes get upset with certain spending. And my mom would sometimes resent my dad for not involving himself more in finances and then complaining about her decisions. I cannot count all the times I've heard the phrase “can't complain if you're not around for the decision.”  

            Eventually this system was modified to help their finances, and their marriage. My parents chose to infiltrate more collaborative work with the financials. My mom would more regularly converse with my dad before purchases, and they would have regular couple “meetings” to discuss small scale budgeting and their current financial status. This was more-so so my dad could be in the loop, and they could both be on the same page.  

            Although they never ran into serious financial problems, it could have happened. And that is one thing that I should emphasize is that whatever system you do choose, make sure it is a mutual decision with your partner and if the system starts to not work, drop it, and find a better one. Just because it worked for another couple, does not mean it will work for you.  

            Finances can be so sticky and really push you and your spouse to succumb to the natural man. The natural man who is very greedy and driven to extreme lengths to get more money and keep it to himself. Remember to include God in your finances. All of your finances. Moving? Ask God. Buying a car? Ask God. Buying a house? Ask God. Making a big financial decision of any regard? Ask God. He is always there for you to council with Him. And you would be surprised how many blessings come from following His will, even if it seems like His plan does not align with yours. Well, that is all for today’s discussion but feel free to ask any more clarifying or discussion questions in the comments and I will definitely respond or discuss it in the next post! Have a great week friends! 

Chloe 


 Study for the statistics I mentioned in the beginning of this post: 

Survey: Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) professionals Reveal the Leading Causes of Divorce

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